Thursday, July 29, 2010

Science Update


Science update.


Hi, doc Frankenstein here.
You've probably been wondering
what I've been up to
since that unfortunate incident
with the (unfairly called) monster.
Well; I've been thinking, planning, studying,
and updating my lab.

I now have all of the modern equipment
to do my work with a precision only dreamed of
"back in the day" as you kids are saying it now.
Micro surgery, MRI, CAT, and all these...
well, miracles of your modern science
have made quite a difference in my...er 'product'.
That and not using incompetent hired help.

Little known fact, Igor's real name
actually was Martin Feldman.

True story.

In fact, I don't use any help at all,
I have found a source for materials
(it's a secret) and I deal directly,
so I only get quality goods.
So that with the hi-tech equipment
powered by a top of the line Hobart generator
(no more waiting around for stormy weather)
puts me at the top of the heap lab-wise.

So, I am proud to announce
that my latest experiment is a great success.
Healthy body, and a perfectly normal brain (don't ask)
(and micro surgery, love that micro surgery)
all add up to a safe'n'sane non-monster.

IT LIVES!!!!!! Hahahahaha!

'Scuse me, I love that line.
Only part of all the nonsense media attention
that was worth a damn (pardon my French).
Anyway, the only problem is...well, it's just some guy.
No electrodes, pretty good lookin'
the stitches don't show at all,
and smart enough, but BORING!

BORING! BORING! BORING!

Just another whaddya call'im...?
John Doe.
Mr. Everybody.
Man on the friggin street!
Leopold Bloom, fer crissake!.

Plus all my patent apps have been turned down.

Being a genius really sucks at times.


Dr. Doug Palmer
aka V. Frankenstein
aka Lane Savant
aka Douglas Mercer July 2010

Posted over on Feel Free To Laugh

2 comments:

Lane Savant said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I am dismayed that I wasn't mentioned.

.......Boris Carload