Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Love Hurts: Scene One

Image borrowed from Bing


Love Hurts: Scene One

Cinemagenic One

Stranded

1. desert midday (wide angle shot);
acrid, dusty, windblown with thick sagebrush
stretched out from foreground to horizon,
disappearing in a gray-brown haze
at the base of dark distant foothills,
towered over by peaks of the Sierra Madre.
Sky electric robin’s egg blue, cloudless.
2.(sound cue) cricket song, wind,
an Indian flute softly.
3. tall thin jackrabbit appears out of
the brush and thorns (medium shot)
hops to center of frame,
sits on its haunches
4. rabbit’s face (close up), long ears
twitching, duet with nose and whiskers.
5. (sound cue) car engine cranking over
in the distance, not starting.
6. rabbit rushes out of frame (camera begins
to track toward background--medium shot)
tops of the sagebrush scrolling to bottom
of frame, humped/bent over
like frozen clay figures.
7. (sound cue) hawk’s cry
8. lens focuses long shot on
stranded automobile
9. (sound cue) engine cranking more slowly
as battery gets low, overridden by a bar
or two of six-string slide guitar blues
and just as a harmonica riffs--
10. (helicopter shot, zooming toward the car,
blending to Loman crane shot--medium)
yellow 70’s four door sedan with hood up.
(traveling shot to windshield)
11. woman with long straight hair
struggling to get car started--
5 year old girl in passenger seat.
12. (sound cue) guitar chords strum
in cadence with the sporadic cranks
from the starter, then it stops dead
as harmonica wails long.
13. (medium shot) woman pounds on dash
and steering wheel.
14. little girl’s face (close up)
tears streaking her pink cheeks.
15. woman’s face (close up) frustration
masking terror, gazing at the emptiness
of the horizon; small band aid over one
eye brow, that eye blackened, purple bruise
showing through her make up on her cheekbone;
shadows moving on her face, in her vacant eyes.
16. woman opens driver door (tight medium shot)
and steps out; white frilly scooped neck peasant
blouse, hair ribbon and short skirt yellow
to match the car.
17. little girl moves over to driver’s seat
(tighter shot through open car window)
woman on edge of shot.
18. (close up) girl is holding stuffed tiger,
missing one eye, says “Tony” on its bandana.
19. woman leans over awkwardly into the
(medium) shot, hugging the child
through open window
20. revealing back seat, covered with piles
of clothes, some packed in grocery bags;
no suitcases.
21. camera dollys backward as woman stands up,
pointing past open hood
to a dust cloud.
22. someone, something is approaching.

Glenn Buttkus March 2011

Would you like to hear the Author read this poem to you?

21 comments:

Kristen Haskell said...

Modern day Zane Grey but was it a cowboy put there or rescues them. I need them rescued Glenn

Friko said...

Me too, please Glenn, I can't have the man (for sure) they're fleeing from catching up with them.
I need a happy ending.

Wonderful to hear your voice.

Paul Bauck said...

I'm hooked. Can't wait for scene 2.
Paul

Tess Kincaid said...

Powerful and brilliantly put together, Glenn. One of your best, I think...how did I miss this one?

Maxwell Mead Williams Robinson Barry said...

sad, haunting imagery.

lovely magpie.

Lydia said...

Bring on scene 2. This is a great playscript!

Brian Miller said...

dude you rocked this...great texture making it screen play script...the scene is tight and you capture a lot of texture...i feel for her...for both and i hope the cloud of dust is a good omen not another...

Brigid O'Connor said...

Clever and intriguing, I definitely need to know what happens next, love the details.

Reflections said...

I like everyone else... can't wait to see/hear what happens next.

Very tight piece. Love the effects.

Tumblewords: said...

Excellent. For now, I'm hoping for a good Samaritan astride a palomino...

Berowne said...

Good scripting; very well written.

robkistner said...

This was fascinating Glenn, to say the least, wonderfully visual, cinemascopic... you're pushing me to write another poem of grander scope that my current snapshots...

hyperCRYPTICal said...

Oh this is good - can't wait for scene 2!

Anna :o]

Arnab Majumdar said...

The beginning of this post reminds me somehow of 'The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.'

Great composition, leaves me wondering - what happens next? :)

Cheers,
Arnab Majumdar on SribbleFest.com

Claudia said...

nice...love the script like write.. paints the scene so very visibly....love all the details..the rabbits face close up...hawk's cry...also the embedded sound....very cool glenn

Brian Miller said...

ha. did you read my comment from yesterday at dverse....was just giving you props for this one...it really is a fascinating piece...a signature piece when i think of you sir...

Tashtoo said...

Awesome! Like many above me...I'm hooked. This will add even more treats to the Tuesday lineup...love the form and function of the language as well...lends another, almost behind the scenes dimension...that would be a bravo Poet :)

vivinfrance said...

Glenn, this is a perfect opening scenario. Run titles.
Story unfolds.

I did one course on script-writing and found it horrendously difficult. So my admiration for your poem is magnified exponentially! The fact that you achieved so much narrative without a word of dialogue is wonderful.

flaubert said...

This is quite good and I am sure it is not an easy way to write, Glen. Bravo.

Pamela

Mark Butkus said...

This is so cool, Glenn. I don't know how you manged to make this poem work but it does - combining so many elements and disparate arts.
Cheers,
Mark Butkus

Anonymous said...

When I started reading, I wasn't convinced. I guess it was the unfamiliarity of the style that I was struggling with. By the end I wanted to know what happens next.